Monday, December 24, 2007

From Tennyson's In Memoriam A.H.H.

XXVIII.

The time draws near the birth of Christ:
The moon is hid; the night is still;
The Christmas bells from hill to hill
Answer each other in the mist.
Four voices of four hamlets round,
From far and near, on mead and moor,
Swell out and fail, as if a door
Were shut between me and the sound:

Each voice four changes on the wind,
That now dilate, and now decrease,
Peace and goodwill, goodwill and peace,
Peace and goodwill, to all mankind.

This year I slept and woke with pain,
I almost wish’d no more to wake,
And that my hold on life would break
Before I heard those bells again:

But they my troubled spirit rule,
For they controll’d me when a boy;
They bring me sorrow touch’d with joy,
The merry merry bells of Yule.

Monday, December 3, 2007

THOUGHT CRIMES A REALITY?

Every civil liberties and progressive political group in the national is shitting a brick right now, as the US government is about to pass legislation essentially making thought crimes a reality through vague definitions of violent radicalism and homegrown terrorism. Progressive Democrats of America provide a pretty good summary here. Seriously guys, contact the Georgia senators and tell them to vote no. This may be the last chance we have to speak out on this issue...

PDA has a form for contacting the senate here: http://capwiz.com/pdamerica/issues/alert/?alertid=10616211&PROCESS=Take+Action

On a lighter note:


And

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/index.shtml#mea=169811

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

I still can't wait for this movie...



Empire released a new picture of the Joker, which is quite badass. Every picture just gets better and better.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Final Destination 4

According to this article on Rotten Tomatoes, there will be a Final Destination 4, and it will be in 3D! Plus, the guy who wrote the second movie will be coming back, hopefully bringing the humor and ridiculousness that was less present in FD3. I'm psyched.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

The Coat Check

I literally just wrote this. Did some quick revising. Thought I'd see what you guys thought.

The green plastic token lay in front of the museum, interred amongst a blanket of wet leaves. It had caught Darren’s eye with its greenness, a measured contrast to the sickly brown and yellow of the gutter. He paused mid-stride to pick it up. A few leaves clung to it, as well as some mud, but not more than perhaps a few hours’ worth. It was still mostly unsullied.
It was hexagonal, with “Museum of Fine Arts” and “Coat Check” engraved below the number 618.
The number struck Darren, and drove him to keep the token instead of leaving it where it had been found. For a moment he considered turning it back into the museum, in case anyone realized they had left without their coat. But the number and its significance to him compelled him to find out more.
Turning from the curb, he walked across the paved courtyard of the museum and up its marble steps. Passing through the revolving doors, he was greeted with a gust of thick, warm air. The museum was always overheated in the late fall and winter. He realized then it would be silly to be wearing a coat while picking up another. He would say it was a relative’s, depending on what exactly the item was.
His footsteps echoed on the marble of the wide entrance hall as he slipped down a side corridor for the coat check. A young lady, maybe fifteen years his junior, was drumming her fingers at the counter. He handed her the token. She smiled and went to retrieve the item, chocolate pony tail bobbing. A minute later she returned and held out a tan canvas briefcase with a shoulder strap. With trembling hands he took it from her.
His face must have betrayed him, because she said, “Is that not yours?”
“No—Uh, no. It’s my wife’s.”
The attendant’s lips half-curved into a skeptical smile. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
The shocking thing was that it really was his wife’s.
There was a café at the other end of the entrance hall, next to the gift shop. Darren had to be sure. His frantic footfalls clicked a drumbeat against the columns and sunroofs of the cavernous hall. No sun shone on that November day - just muted, steely clouds. From the vaulted ceilings downward a colorless gloom descended, creating a funereal hush that threatened to stifle even Darren’s loud steps.
The café was a simple, square room with paneled glass walls and a smattering of tasteful little trees in large clay pots. A glimpse of the inner garden could be seen through the panels; flowers drooped like hanged men above mountains of clumped leaves. A groundskeeper scraped a rake against the cobblestone path.
Darren took a table and had to restrain himself from dumping out the entire contents of the bag. He was hardly able to grasp the zipper when he went to open it. His wife hadn’t been to the museum in over a year. He had been with her the last time she’d gone. She hadn’t brought this bag, so far as he could remember. He dug his hand into the inside front pocket, where he knew she usually kept her wallet.
There it was – the black leather one he had given her for Christmas three years ago. He almost sobbed when he saw her license beneath the clear plastic cover on one side. It was still hard to look at the pictures.
Marie Angela Hardwick. 4272 Lenore Avenue. Five foot three. One hundred and fourteen pounds. Brown hair. Green eyes. The picture was recent – she had renewed her license maybe two years ago, if he remembered right.
He turned the wallet over and opened it. Fifteen dollars inside. Credit cards he had long cancelled. A picture of him. He was glad she would never see the gray hairs that had grown in at his temples. A gym membership card. He’d stopped going. A gift card to H&M that her mother had sent her this past Christmas. She was so upset when she’d gotten that –and only that- from her mother.
Darren replaced the wallet and examined the other contents of the briefcase. Breath mints. Two folders with her employer’s logo on them. A folding umbrella. A granola bar, gone bad three months ago.
For five months this bag had been sitting in the coat check. She had had it the last time he had seen her, leaving for work like any normal day. Why had the token appeared to him now, blocks away from the spot where the wreath and cross withered against the weather? What did it mean? How had the bag gotten there? With one question laid to rest, so many new had been born. He cupped one hand across his mouth, staring down at the bag. After a moment he took the license out again and fixated upon her picture. Tears welled in his eyes.
Outside, a man walked erratically past the museum, searching the sidewalk. It was becoming more and more spotted with gray droplets. The man shoved his hands in his pockets and pulled them out multiple times. He paced up and down the block, head bobbing and jerking about, eyes fixed upon the ground.
He would never forgive himself. He had lost the token. She had been going back with the token to get her bag, and then the car had come, and he had taken it from her pocket as she had lain half on the sidewalk, half in the gutter. She had looked into his eyes and smeared blood on his hand with her hand. She had a husband. What husband would want to find out about it like that? He already had enough to hate himself over – why had he lost the token now? It had been his reminder, and her death warrant.

(Copyright Peter Franklin)
(in case we have any visitors we don't know, of course)

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Cloverfield/ 1-18-08 Trailer in front of Beowulf?

I don't know if you guys are excited or burnt out on the viral marketing surrounding 1-18-08 (I guess that's all you CAN do for a movie JJ Abrams wants secret) or Cloverfield or whatever it's going to be called, but over at slashfilm, they seem to think that a trailer will be put in front of Beowulf, since it's also a big Paramount movie before the release of Cloverfield in January.

http://www.slashfilm.com/2007/10/30/new-1-18-08cloverfield-trailer-and-title-christmas-speed-racer-trailer/

Also, what are your thoughts on Beowulf? Katie, who is a huge nerd when it comes to Beowulf and Tolkien and all that, seems to think it's going to be pretty disappointing. I guess that Gaiman has done wrong before, but never in a bad way.
When I saw the trailer the other day, It wasn't so much that couldnt suspend disbelief when I noticed evidence of artificial graphics in between believable animation, so much that when I did notice the little glitches here and there, I had to keep reminding myself that it wasn't real. That's pretty powerful, in my opinion, and as a fan of Pixar's accomplishments, I have to say that I'm stoked for Beowulf in the least over its technical prowess...

Speaking of Pixar, have you guys heard about WALL-E? It's the new one coming out next year, and pretty interesting- It's like 2001: A Space Oddyssey in reverse. Instead of man overcoming his tools to become more human, it's more like the tools win because man has lost his humanity. Okay, so that's a horrible way to introduce the movie, but you should check it out on Apple/trailers when you get the chance.
Greetings kids. Got two updates on our two favorite comic book to film franchises: Spiderman and Batman.

First off, James Vanderbilt has been confirmed for Spiderman 4's script. This is the guy who wrote Zodiac, which was an excellently moody and character-driven film. I'm pretty excited about what he can do with Spiderman, since he's already saying he will focus on characters and scale back the villains. Let's hope he sticks around...

Secondly, check out http://www.whysoserious.com - The Joker's got a game for the Batman-loving public. Not sure what the ultimate end is, but it sounds cool.

Also: Ten Halloween Costumes That Are Just Sick and Wrong

That's all for now. Happy Halloween!

Friday, October 26, 2007

Tessie




Just a few things I've found on the glorious internet. GO SOX!!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

This American Life

This is reall really cool and I know good ole Carlo will be thrilled if he hasn't seen it already.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

New Single from Animal Collective

This is probably the most accessible song they've made. Mr. Green may even be able to tolerate it. The video itself is...appropriately trippy.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

I thought this was funny...

Your Daily Zen

What the hell have you people been doing?

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Hate Ann Coulter?

You'd fucking better. Well, as you can imagine, Henry Rollins hates her too. Here's another reason why this man is my personal hero:

Friday, July 27, 2007

Just Keeping Everyone Up To Date...

This just happened:



As well as:

http://video.whysoserious.com/TDK_Teaser_HD_Best_L98hufT.mov

That takes a while to download, but it's pretty cool.

p.s. Harry Potter 7 was pretty awesome. I enjoyed it very much.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

A Few Spoiler Free Words About Harry Potter

The Order of the Phoenix movie: Probably the most coherent and artfully filmed of the series thus far - yes, better than Prisoner of Azkaban.

Book VII: Gritty and intense.

Monday, July 16, 2007

BET - Read A Book (High Quality)

Hahaha. This is the best PSA EVER.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

D.C. Madame Scandal

In the event that this story goes under, I'm posting it here.

The D.C. Madame phone list is a list of phone records that contain the names of politicians- certain politicians have already resigned, and her lawyer has stated that Cheney is "not not on the list.' Big stuff. She's just gotten permission to publish the records, so the networks may be covering it soon.

Here is her URL with the records: http://deborahjeanepalfrey.com/

Monday, July 2, 2007

I would advise that you motherfuckers go see Transformers right now. RIGHT NOW! Words can't sum up how amazing this thing looks.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Mac vs. PC

In the tradition of mock rap videos, I present:



Also, what happened to posting more and putting up things of substance, eh?

Thursday, June 14, 2007

New Batman Costume!



Here's the new Batman costume. I like it. I like how the mask looks, very practical. It looks like they're taking the dark knight theme fairly liteally, but I dig it alot. Can't wait to see him in action. It won't be all awkward and rubber jointy. heh. What do you guys think?

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

I just want to let you know something. It is an intimate thing.

When I meditate, and clear all thought from my mind- when I begin to see through the dharma, the beads of thought that we call mind, and I find this blinding light- when I am there, I do not see you, but you are with me. You are woven throughout me. You are my love.

Classic

This is one of my favorite Robot Chicken sketches, so I thought I'd share it with you guys since it's been a while since we've had a post. Check out the cast in the credits, it's pretty crazy this episode. And no, I have not seen Pirates 3 yet.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Hmmm...

You guys seen Pirates yet? I saw it Thursday and really enjoyed it. I was just wondering how you guys liked it. Apparently it has more backlash against it than Spider-Man and Shrek combined, which I feel is waaaaayyyyyy less deserved than Spider-Man. It seems that people have set some kind of outrageous standards for summer action movies nowadays, which I really don't think applies to the Pirates movies since they've done the unthinkable and added history/mythology/sea-lore to an otherwise brainless franchise. It really irritates me. Oh well. I guess people want to have to think, but just a little.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

HOLY FUCK THIS IS COOL AS SHIT!



This shit is for real motherfuckers! I can't fuckin wait for this goddamned movie now. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Friday, May 11, 2007

DOUBLE REVIEW EXTRAVAGANZA!

Alright, so I'm going to have a double super awesome review post tonight.

First: I picked up the new Bright Eyes CD hoping it would be as good as I'm Wide Awake It's Morning and Jesus Gawd is it good. In the same trajectory that Wide Awake set, Oberst has continued with his Alt-Indie-Country style and produced some song which would not be unwelcome on CMT. That is however if CMT would be ok with song against the war, criticizing the bible, and the other Bush-Era liberal mantra that fuels our hate. He then shifts on a few songs to Digital Urn-style material, but that might only be two songs. One of my personal favorites is "Make a Plan to Love Me," a Gershwinesque tribute to 70's string ballads. Other notable features include backup vocals from Z Berg of The Like, Rachel Yamagatta, and the two Girls from Eisley, as well as some of the most singing slide guitar heard in years. All in all, I highly recommend this album for later Bright Eyes fans who get excited about Oberst's slow transformation into Gram Parsons.

Second: 28 Weeks Later. This might be my ne favorite horror movie. It is not only the prettiest horror film I've ever seen, but one of the prettiest films I've seen period. It looks like a French art film with rage zombies. I must admit I wasn't a big fan of the original, but this one blew me away. This was one of the most emotional, intense, and depresing movies I've seen. Plus it has the honor of taking one of the most ridiculous scenes in Grindhouse and making it not only plausible, but even more gory and exciting. I highly recommend this to fans of horror, zombies, disguised political statements, the song "London's Burning," and pretty film in general.
Till next time,
Dexter Green

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Ask and you shall receive



Where do you guys get random photos with captions such as the one above? I found this via google, but that's often not reliable. Are there websites/blogs out there that deal solely with these?

And also, Spiderman 3 for me was better the second time around. Less time going, "Hah-oh, wait, was that supposed to be funny?","What the hell?", or drooling - and more time actually absorbing things.

Monday, May 7, 2007

You laugh, you lose.



Post moar pics in this blog!

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Spidey 3 Verdicts

Okay, in case Dr. L hasn't seen it yet... keep the discussion to the comments section.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Here It Is...


I thought you guys might enjoy this. It's the real Iron Man suit from the movie. Entetainment Weekly just published it. It looks pretty fuckin badass. Sorry it's a little blurry. I think I've said enough.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

The End is Nigh

Okay, so by 2040: bananas are going to be extinct, the fish industry will have collapsed, we will be completely out of oil, fresh uncontaminated water will be extremely scarce, attempts to reduce global warming will have failed at the rate things are moving now, AND robots will be becoming self aware...

But that doesn't mean shit, because the world's ending much sooner than that. November 2007, to be exact. That is the month that the Large Haldron Collider in Europe will be switched on, either creating a huge step forward in science or...the destruction of the Earth and possibly the universe.

Wiki:Large Haldron Collider

Among the four possible world-ending outcomes of turning this thing on are the creation of a stable black hole and the triggering of a transition into a different quantum mechanical vacuum.

Really I just thought that the very existence of a machine that could theoretically destroy the universe pretty cool/scary. And if the world's going to end, I'd like it to be instant and all-enveloping, as these outcomes would seem to be. Sadly the actually probability of that occurring from this machine is quite miniscule. Looks like we're stuck with starvation, war, shitty weather, and robot uprisings.

Monday, April 23, 2007

**UPDATE: So this is a fake picture boys. Sorry for the hype. There should be an official picture soon. I still think this one looked cool though.



So this is apparently a test shot of Heath Ledger in Joker makeup. I'm not sure if it's real, hell, I'm not even sure thats Heath Ledger. That doesn't look like Heath Ledger's nose, but whatever. How do you guys dig it? I like it alot. It goes along with what I suspected Nolan to be heading towards. I can't wait to see Ledger in character with the costume and lighting and Batman and whatnot. A lot of people aren't going to like it, but I'd rather see a character driven Joker than a purely asthetic one. A lot of people praise Nicholson's Joker because he looked like the comic book Joker even though it was just Jack Nicholson in clown makeup. I'm not even sure he acted in that one, I think he just sort of walked on stage and yelled at Michael Keaton, which, if you think about it, makes that movie way more entertaining.

p.s. it does kind of look like the crow, but I think that'll go away with the performance and the Batman and whatnot.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Recap of a Murderous Weekend

So this weekend was probably the most sadistic and bizarre one I've had in recent memory, and I would like to share with you guys.

Friday, I saw a production of Shakespeare's infamous Titus Andronicus. If you haven't read it, just know that this play has dismemberment, rape, murder, and cannibalism to boot. The odd thing about this production was that the audience sat around the entire stage, most of the props were rocks even though it had a distinct military-industrial look in all the costuming, and the first 3 acts were tragic and disturbing, while the last two were hilarious - and those were the scenes involving cannibalism.

Saturday was made the highlight of my weekend when I saw Grindhouse. This is not a movie - it's an event. At 3 hours 36 minutes, it's a beautiful waste of an afternoon. Just bring lots of sugary snacks and popcorn, because this is the best straight up popcorn entertainment flick I've seen...period. It's heinously gory, but few of the scenes of gore fail to be absolutely hilarious. And the fake trailers, particularly the ones in front of Deathproof, are almost the best part of the entire experience. Planet Terror, as many seemed to agree, is the stronger of the two outings, but that's not to say Deathproof doesn't have its charms. Terror is just so over the top, so completely immersed in its schlockiness that it gets the upper hand over Deathproof's considerably cleaner look and lengthy scenes of dialogue which almost make you care about the characters. And Terror has Michael Biehn playing essentially the same character he has always played, which is awesome. Overall, this is something that really must be seen in theaters to be enjoyed to its fullest extent, as it does a splendid job of recreating the experience promised by its title. It wouldn't be the same - so I advise you to get out and see it before its tragically abysmal draws at the box office yank it from theaters.

Sunday I caught a showing of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, which was soaked in buckets of cartoon blood. It's nothing more than a long episode, so if you're expecting something grandiose, you'll be quite disappointed. It does deliver the series' trademark humor pretty consistently, though it fails to live up to the peak reached in the first two seasons of the show...except for one clip in the very beginning that eclipses the rest of the movie. It involves Mastodon, and that's all you need to know.

On a different note, I'm coming to Atlanta on June 6, and staying until somewhere around the 20th. You bastards best be around at least on the weekends.

Edward Norton= The Hulk.

http://www.firstshowing.net/2007/04/15/the-new-bruce-banner-incredible-hulk-is-edward-norton/

Discuss.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Your Respects Please.

Kurt Vonnegut.
1922-2007.
14 novels.
84 years old.
Fucking brilliant man.

I'm really sad to see him go. He helped me through my middle and high school years, and someday I wanted to meet him.

What was everyone's first Vonnegut novel?

Mine was Breakfast of Champions. I remember reading through it very quickly; I remember used car salesmen, black people making bird calls, and Vonnegut walking around in his own book.

Hail, hail to the best satirist of the 20th century.

Iron Man = Hard Man ??

Courtesy of the IGN Filmforce, the first actual pic of Iron Man in the upcoming movie has been released...

And damn is it disappointing. I mean, I guess I don't know what I was expecting. And admittedly, the Iron Man costume has to be hard to pull off in live action form, but still, look at this.

He looks like a discarded Mega Man villain. Actually, not even a discarded one. He looks almost exactly like Hard Man:



Am I in the wrong? Am I unable to see the badassness of this costume? Discuss.

Also, I got the Hard Man image from a pretty hilarious summary of all pre-X Mega Man villains: Mega Man Mania

~Dr. L.H.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Your Attention Please.

There does exist a novel in which Jack Kerouac crosses over with the Cthulhu Mythos.
It is free on Creative Commons liscence here:
http://www.moveunderground.org/

That is all.

Exciting Sequels

28 Weeks Later
http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox_atomic/28weekslater/large.html

I was pretty skeptical until I saw this trailer. While the first one certainly did not hold up so well with multiple viewings, this one looks like it could be better. There's at least more people to kill, which is always good, right?

Day Watch
http://www.foxsearchlight.com/daywatch/

This one I'm actually excited about. Night Watch was goofy and Russian and flawed, but still pretty awesome. This looks like it could clean house with Night Watch. Bekmambetov clearly had a bigger budget with this one, and it looks like he put it to good use. The carnage factor appears to be significantly higher than the last.

Until that day.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUbu6WBYfb8

Spoilers. It's good. I love Raimey.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Shakespeare Gets Trashy Like its 1939

So I just viewed the 1995 version of Shakespeare's breakthrough play Richard III. It stars and was written by Ian McKellan, directed by the faceless Richard Loncraine. As the title of this post may have hinted, this is a modern adaptation taking place in an alternate universe England where fascists under the Gloucester family have taken over after a civil war. As far as Shakespeare adaptations go, this may be the most entertaining I have ever seen.

Let me ask you this: how many Shakespeare movies open with a tank bursting through the wall of a drawing room, whereupon men in gasmasks jump out, gunning down the King of England in cold blood? Then, how many spell out their titles with each resounding gunshot in true cheesy action movie form? Only this one does that. On top of that, it has Robert Downey Jr. as Lord Rivers! Robert Downey Jr. as an English Lord! It doesn't get any better than that.

Ian McKellan deftly handles the lead role of the sinister Richard III, now replete with a crustache and fascist military regalia. Rather than having most of Richard's lengthy asides taken as him talking to himself, this movie has McKellan actually address the audience, often with a wink and smile. I couldn't help but think of Ferris Bueller's Day Off for some reason - yet somehow, this works, in a campy fun sort of way. Of course, all of this focus upon McKellan makes you realize how truly ugly the man is. Yech.

The rest of the cast is mostly those kinds of actors who you recognize but whose names you cannot remember, barring Downey Jr. and Annette Benning's compassionate portrayal of Elizabeth. They all handle their parts beautifully, inspiring pity or disgust despite the film's action movie bravado and horror movie murder scenes. They also make Shakespeare's dialogue easily understandable, for those who have issues with that. I find that actors in films using Shakespeare's dialogue often say the lines far too quick, losing some of the meaning. That hardly happens here.

Of note is a brief cameo by jazz singer Stacey Kent, playing herself as the opening credits fade out under a hilariously and intentionally inappropriate swing song.

The score for this film is a mix of '30s swing and classical orchestration, never failing to accentuate the right scenes. This film has a black sense of humor that the score wholly reinforces, as the aforementioned inappropriate swing song shows. The song resurfaces even more hilariously for the last shot of the film, which has to be seen to be believed.

Loncraine, despite being a no-name, handles the direction gorgeously. This film is lush, to say the least, but it also has the World War II era grit to it. This is particularly present in the prison scenes and the final battle scene. The costuming, props, and set design are all appropriate for the era, which makes the alternate universe scenario all the more believable.

This film is indeed strange. It swings wildly between serious drama and campy action/horror, yet somehow holds it all together. It was nominated for several awards in varying categories by several institutions, a few of which it won. As I said, it's the most entertaining adaptation I've seen, though not the best (Kurosawa's Ran holds that for me). Still, it's worth a look if you ever are feeling indecisive at the video store - given its odd conglomeration of opposing elements, you will probably be satisfied in some way.

Friday, March 23, 2007

This is quite spiffy...

Y'all need to check this shit out. Pronto.
http://ericpoulton.blogspot.com/search/label/steampunk%20star%20wars

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

D'Mite and Huckabees

Get it while it's hot, folks. If you want to see Lily Tomlin and David Russel flip their shit and act like complete children on camera during the filming of I Heart Huckabees, head here:

http://www.omgblog.com/2007/03/omg_how_emotional_lily_tomlin.php

Alternately, if you wish to hear the best rap song perhaps ever recorded, go here:

http://www.myspace.com/knotarapper

And click on Read a Book.

Happy spring.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Heroes; Or, Science Fiction Executed Well on Television.

I was reminded to write this as I was watching a video of Zach Snyder talking about the Watchmen movie, which is supposed to start shooting soon. According to related buzz, Jude Law is being cast as Ozymandias, and Gerard Butler is somewhere inside of it. Seeing Mr. Snyder talk about it, I'm sure he has the right attitude to go into a Moore project. He isn't being abstract. Moore isn't an abstract writer. He's paranoid, calculating, and pretty when he sees the opportunity to be. I don't think it'll suck, basically.

So. Heroes.
The second run of nine or so episodes ended a few weeks ago, with new episodes being served in mid-April.

I have almost every episode on my computer, with the exception of the latest, which I tried to watch on TV. I remembered why I don't watch TV anymore when that happened. That is, my Heroes episode was embedded with more advertising than I could take. If that is what it takes to produce such awesome media, then I suppose it is worth it, but when I realized that fifteen minutes of the hour timeslot Heroes occupies on Monday nights were commercials, I was agitated.

Other than that, the show is good. It is what mutants would have been like in the world of today, minus anything to do with Stan Lee (though he does have a cameo at one point). The special effects are never horrendous, and rarely feel out of place. In fact, after watching this show I began to question what the appeal of costumed superheroes were for me, and couldn't get a clear answer. Was it the costumes themselves gone? Being able to see bodies through spandex? The art of mimicking the comic book panel in a movie frame? Whatever it is, Heroes does not have that. Instead, it feels like a coherent drama. The writers do a good job of not making it feel too campy, though sometimes it's good for relief from the tense drama in the show. Also, the producers aren't afraid to kill people off or move characters around. I do not feel as though the show is still setting itself up, but is constantly unfolding into a unique world. I see a few things in the current world that I would amend or cut, but so far nothing has really seemed so irrelevant or uninteresting to me that I didn't care that much.

Okay, so: what are the characters like? Well, most of them have mismatched powers. Some of the powers are so weird, I can't see them working with a superhero. Recently, a minor character had the power of superheating, which means he could make things melt into goop. Useful? I guess, if so for killing people. Some people in the show have very overpowered abilities, such as Hiro, who can bend time and space. However, he is a pop culture nerd of delusional status who often uses his power for personal pleasure, and still hasn't been able to teleport without moving forward or backward in time. Some have powers that are more well thought out than their comic universe counterparts- Peter Petrelli is an "empath" which means when he thinks of others, he can gain their powers until he stops doing so. Sylar, his sort of evil counterpart, actually eats the brains of others to understand how they "work," absorbing their powers. This works better than the ambiguous way Rogue takes the powers of others. Peter's brother, however, has only the ability of flight- a quip of his comes to mind in which he asks Peter what he would be able to do once he got to the scene of a crime, since he did not have a gun or superpowers other than flying. This very restrictive way to deal with superpowers serves two purposes: 1) It's a TV show on some kind of budget, despite the money that is coming in from it, and 2) Characters are rarely so developed with their powers that they lack any personality beyond their abilities.

As for how this series will turn out, I have a few hopes for it. I'd like to see more heroes outside of the US. Many of the big events occur here, especially in Las Vegas and New York, but it's been shown that they exist elsewhere. I'd like to see some kind of big superfight or a Hero who has to deal with their power in a different culture- just to open up everything. I do not want there to be anything like a Justice League developed, or any "team"- It's too young for that and its not realistic. I do not want there to be any cosmic stories or anything that is outside of Earth. I'd like them to kill off the woman who has the weird, unexplored Hulk powers- or develop her a bit more, clear up her convoluted backstory. I'd also like to see Hiro travel through time and find Heroes from an earlier era or something. Maybe even some kind of Morlock thing- or a Genosha idea. It's a show about social interaction, really, so I don't see why exploring these different social structures in the show would be a bad idea. But at this point, the show could go anywhere. And thats what I like about the show- it does. It is very realistic, and very unforgiving. I wish more comics were written like this- I compare the narrative style to Watchmen often. Maybe Zach Snyder will take a cue from the production team of Heroes and make it feel authentic.

Anyway, that's this week's Monday post, two days late. Friday and Saturday, I'll post movie or video game reviews. Ta.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Just had to post it.



I have decided that every Wednesday is bizarre internet meme day. Maybe just weird-ass wednesday.

Thursday, March 8, 2007

More Ammunition Against Pete Wentz

Adding to my rapidly growing hatred of Fall Out Boy's mascara-clad cad on high, Pete Wentz, is this:

Fall Out Boy borrows lyrics from American Nightmare/Give Up The Ghost

Apparently the lead singer of American Nightmare just settled out of court with the band because he borrowed several lyrics from him without permission. At least FOB credited him as a co-writer on three songs from the newest album. But really, who the fuck steals lyrics from a guy with one arm? And why should we now give a shit about stealing your record when apparently you didn't even write the damn thing?

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

R.I.P. Captain America?

So apparently Marvel killed off Captain America in the newest issue. I personally think its gimmick just like everything else that's going on right now. It would be cool and ballsy if Marvel had enough brass to actually perpitrate this, but I don't think they will. Brubaker's book has been selling well, and the Cap'n is as well known and relevant as ever. My thoughts are that they'll play it off as a faked death with Nick Fury taking him underground so he won't be put in the N-Zone prison. I bet he'll come back in about 4-6 months in Mavel's next big event, which is actually a pretty badass selling point. Out of all the things to happen because of Civil War, this and the Aunt May shooting are my two favorite. They have the potential to change lots of characters in lots of different ways. It sort of made the whole thing relevant. The Secret Wars gave Spider-Man the black costume, and Civil War killed Captain America (maybe). What do you guys think? Is he really dead? Or is he waiting in the wings to sell more comics later?

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

(IndieChrist Television Blues): First Impressions of Neon Bible

The Arcade Fire: what have you heard about them that isn't good? First, Funeral: an instant classic. It surprise carpet bombed the indie world, and countless pretentious and unpretentious listeners were its victims, feeling much akin to that little naked girl with the barbecued arm running down the street in that famous Vietnam War photo. Then: the chaotic, frantic, instrument swapping live shows purportedly frothing with raw emotion and balls out rock. Holy shit, people said, this band can pull off the tangled cacophany of sound that they made on record? Yes, the band responded, now sit down, shut up, and prepared to be shock n awed. When the group rereleased its so-so demo, indie rockers snatched it up like crack-flavored pop rocks, and said they could hear its incredible potential with their special indie hindsight goggles. Yes, hear with goggles. That's what this band fucking does to you.

Then, like Superman in a certain underrated superhero film, they dropped off the face of the Earth, and the Lex Luthors of the near mainstream almost got away with their evil Kryptonite-infused continent (read: good music) swallowing real estate schemes. Well, Supes, er, The Arcade Fire, are back. And do they save they day? Sort of. Maybe. Barely? I mean, Superman just about died tossing the kryptonite island thing into space and couldn't persuade Lois to leave her toolbox of a husband, and that seems fitting here. The Arcade Fire do provide a temporary reprieve from the schlocktastic garbage clogging the airwaves right now (albeit there is seemingly less than there was 3-4 years ago), but they also fail to Baghdadify the scene as before.

Okay, yes, this record is great. I'm hooked - I'm on the verge of dumping this review in favor of listening to it again. But it didn't yank me out of my chair and toss me on the ground like Funeral did. No, this album's a grower. I didn't even like it at first, but as its mood and themes soaked me through, I was able to get a grasp on the changes the band has made, and realize that what they've done here is pretty good in its own right. It is certainly no Funeral, and it is certainly not as influential or genre/year/decade/etc defining as that record. I mean, c'mon, it's the second record. Sequels rarely outdo their predecessors (exception in the aforementioned superhero flick) - hardly anyone ever shits gold twice. Get over it - did you really think, given the circumstances and lack of a scrutinous public eye during the writing of the debut, that another Funeral could be made?

So, what's different here? The tempo is the most noticeable change. There is a distinct softening of the muscular, jarring aspect of Funeral's pace. And there is also a greater uniformity in this - gone are the sudden total turnarounds a la the ends of Wake Up and Crown of Love. The band will still ratchet the intensity up a bit from time to time, but nothing like that first time in Neighborhood #1. That's not necessarily a bad thing - just different. A pensive, rather than explosive Arcade Fire? Okay. They can do it. But this album is generally more repetitious and consistent, which is good and bad. The song structure is less diverse than before, and that is my biggest complaint with this album. The majority of songs end with Win annoyingly repeating a verse over and over and over. The instrumentation is also quite different - it's not quite as guitar centric and it sounds more organic. And a simply epic organ manages to steal the show from the pronounced use of accordion and piano. Sadly Regine has a diminished role in this recording as well - she hardly gets a song of her own here. But, when she does throw her voice into the band's trademark mess of sound, it's fantastic, and chilling.

Indeed, one of the best parts of the band is still here - the chaos. But rather than the fierce whirlwind of Funeral, we are subject to a mellower, murkier, and more mournful conglomeration of instruments. Funeral came through and tore everything apart, and now we are digging through the remains. This album sounds darker and creepier, and frankly its predecessor's title seems to fit it better than Neon Bible, at least on a sonic level. The lyrics are still weird, highly interpretable, thematic, intelligent and stupid all at once. While the yoinked title Neon Bible would imply at least a smidgen of humor considering from whom it was yoinked, it seems more like a portender of the fate of that um, yoinkee. The theme, as I have interpreted it, is of a much wider scale than Funeral's focus on family and love: this is paranoia, World War III, sinking ships, imprisoned passions, decaying societies, and a healthy dash of despair. I'm reminded in a way of Ok Computer. There is a definite water motif here, among others, and that really adds to the albums overall murkiness, both in production and execution. That is the best way I can describe it: murky. This is dark stuff, as the very stark black and white lyric booklet implies, as the threatening piano riffs and evil organ groans accentuate. Really, it's discomforting, especially if one has the same reservations about the world we live in as Win's crazy ass does.

And that is the main reason why this album succeeds over its glaring flaws: though the band has changed, it still has the ability to move the listener through the progression of an actual album. Everyone will agree that Funeral was an old fashioned album, a work of art that was as much of a sum of its parts as it was a construction of several equally excellent pieces. Neon Bible is essentially the same, though it could be argued that it demands even more to be scrutinized as a whole. Indeed, listening to it all the way through is far more effective - it will give you a better perspective on this second outing from the prime ministers (they're Canadian, remember?) of indie rock, making you realize that even the Lester Pearsons of this world fail to follow through on their election speech promises, but we still love them anyway.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Prince Henry Plays War

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/6385169.stm

So the Prince is going to war. For me, this raises an interesting and perplexing question on the nature of democracy, or at least, the Diet Democracy we have here in this wonderful nation. Say what you want about monarchies, because it's probably true. But a monarchical, aristocratic-based government will always have a heads up on a democratic republic in one arena: war. Countless monarchs and their highest ranking subjects have gone to war. In fact, for most of its history in civilized culture (Eastern and Western both), war was fought by the upper class because it was too expensive for the lower and (when it was created) middle class. The public memory seems to have forgotten that one used to have to pay for all of his equipment in the army. The government didn't provide you with anything - and this makes sense because before the mid-1800s, governments really didn't give away anything. Anyway, this was quite pricey, as one can imagine, and as such, only the rich went to war. In the middle ages, this was absolutely embodied in the aristocratic warrior classes found in Europe and Japan (knights/samurai). Think of all the war heroes from before the 20th century in these places, and I bet not one of them was a commoner, save for maybe Joan of Arc. But she had the whole divine assistance thing going on. This isn't to say that commonfolk only just recently had a place in war, no...the archery units and musketry and such have been comprised of middle and lower class people since their inception, but the truth is the rich have only just recently had a much smaller role in war...since, oh, the spread of democracy after the American Revolution. Before then, the government declared war, and the government itself went to war. There is a long tradition of warrior kings and princes and dukes, from times that we consider to be less civilized than our own. These people made war, then went and fought it. And that is where modern democracy has always failed. Now the government declares war and watches while the middle class down to the most desperate of the lowest class goes off to fight it. That betrays the very meaning of equality. These people didn't ask to go to war, they don't actually make the vote to declare it - why should they fight it ? It would be different if those enlisted in the military were able to vote on whether or not war was declared upon a country, but then, 9 times out of 10 I'm sure we wouldn't fight wars. And where's the profit in that?

Now, here's one that will really bake your brownies later - was such a so-called "defect" in our system of government intentional? Ideally, the people run the country and so it would make sense that the people would go to war. But in a system that is so far removed from its original conception, so inundated with lobbyists and political machines and pork barrel legislature and partisanism, in short, a hardly ideal system, who is really running the country? Certainly not those who fight the wars. That is why I commend Prince Henry and his resolution to fight, because even though I do not agree with war, I do agree with equality and democracy, and what he is doing is far more democratic than anything I've seen on this side of the Atlantic.

{I may edit this a little more but for right now I just had to get this out of my system}

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Here We Go Again...

Here's the trailer for the new Resident Evil movie, and boy does t look ...odd? I don't even know what the hell this one is about, but it certainly looks alot better than the other two special effects wise. Maybe thats because the dude that directed Highlander is taking over. You know, because there can be only one and stuff.

http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/residentevilextinction.html

Creating Expandable Post Summaries

OKAY,
So, I finally found the help page for this- no more long-ass main pages that squelch the rest of the blog.
Charlie, I need you to fix this code up because you're managing this thing.
It's summarized step-by-step right here:
http://help.blogger.com/bin/answer.py?answer=42215

On to better blogdom!

Friday, February 16, 2007

He's Riding Through Your Town With His Head On Fire...

I'm going to start this with the obligatory disclaimer: I tend to have fairly good taste in movies, which most of my associates can attest too, but I also get a big kick out of really stupid movies. Most of these include classics such as "Red Dawn" or "Navy SEALS," but also very much so in the subgenre of adaptation. Case in point: "Resident Evil: Apocolypse." That was probably one of the worst movies ever made, but God dammit, I wanted Zombies, Stars, a Nemisis, and Jill Valentine. I got all four, and I was happy.
The way I look at it is: if you want to see the characters you love so much, read, play, or watch the original work. There is a reason a movie is called an adaptation. In the case of comic book movies, this is even trickier because the characters are so idealized in our own heads. Most people my age see the X-Men as they were presented by Jim Lee and the animated series. An older generation thinks of Wolverine in a brown costume, and the younger generation knows him primarily in black leather. Most of the time the comics themselves fail horribly at delivering the characters we know and love.
This brings me to the main point of this post: Ghost Rider. Most people will see this movie and say it is shit. A quick trip to Rotten Tomatoes will prove this. The honest truth about this movie is that it is shit. It's stupid, it's cheesey, it has horrible dialouge, and the action is sub-par. Once again, though, I want to take it back to the source. The original concept for Ghost Rider was simply to revamp an old Marvel series about a superhero cowboy. Being the 70's, the creators decided it would be cool to have a flaming skeleton wearing Elvis' comback special leather jumpsuit riding a motorcycle. The threw in a little Faust, and boom Ghost Rider. This character was never supposed to have some sort of dynamic like Spider-Man's issues of youth/responsibility/power, or the Fantastic Four's family dynamic. It was a fucking skeleton on a motorcycle.
The evolution of the character never really went beyond this. He got some powers and faught some demons, and there you have it. The character of Ghost Rider is purely asthetic. He was just a way to make kids go "coooooool" and buy the books for the cover art. One of those kids, apparently, was Nicholas Cage. You can say what you want about Nicholas Cage, and it will probably be true: he's an overactor, he's weird and crazy, he's too old to be in this movie, etc... But the one thing Nicholas Cage does have, at least in this movie, is a passion for the character. The man has a big ass Ghost Rider tattoo on his bicep, that they ironically had to cover up for this movie. He's been campaigning this movie for years, just simply so he could be his favorite superhero. The only two other people in the business that have tried as hard as Cage to bring their loves to screen are Sam Raimi and Bryan Singer. This is not to say that this movie is in any way the same caliber as Superman Returns, the X-Men films, or the Spider-Man movies, but neither were the actual comics.
Going back to what I said earlier: This movie is shit. It is pure popcorn shlock, but I had a fuckin blast. This thing has great characters, hellfire, badass chopper scenes, boobs, chains, and Nicholas Cage having a great time. The one thing I absolutely loved about this movie is that they actually went out and made it a western. It's not just a western because it takes place in Texas, but because it grounds the film in supernatural western folklore. It opens with an explanation of the Ghost Rider originally coming from the old west where a former Rider stops the devil (or Mephasopholes, they never actually deferintiate) from aquiring a very large mass of souls and escaping his power. Add in a pitch perfect narration from the man, Sam Elliot, throw in a credit sequence in old western typeface, and you know where this film is going. Then comes the mandatory origin story, which is handled exceding well. This movie stinks of Dare Devil, Mark Steven Johnson's last comic book feature, but if Dare Devil had one thing going for it that everyone can agree on, it's how well Matt Murdock's backstory was presented. Ghost Rider is no diferent. The strongest part of this movie is the first twenty five minutes. The dialouge is written the best, the characters are better fleshed out, and even the film appears to have better texture than the rest of the movie. I was really impressed with all this.
Then comes the rest of the movie. I will be there first to say the dialouge is cringe inducing. I've never heard a theatre chuckle so many times at inappropriate during a movie. It's bad. Real bad. BUT, the actors do the best with what they can. Nicholas Cage is awesome as Johnny Blaze. The reason his age does not bother me, personally, in this adaptation is because he is an Evil Kineival character. He is a national celebrity. E.K. didn't become famous until his mid thirties, which is what Cage is supposed to be portraying here. In the comics Johnny Blaze is a sideshow act. He can be twenty five. The movie Blaze is a bit beyond that. Otherwise, though, I thought the character was there. Sam Elliot is Sam Elliot is Sam Elliot. He plays the same character in every movie, but thats why we love him. He's definitely better in this than he was in Hulk, and that may be simply because this was a western. Peter Fonda is excellent as Mephastopholes, as he damn well should be. The only weak links were Eva Mendes and Wes Bentley as Roxanne Simpson and Blackheart, respectively. They really just read lines the whole time. Wes Bentley's eyebrows certainly do look evil, though.
Now the important part: how bad ass is the Ghost Rider. The answer: pretty bad ass. There is a certain accepted loss in every comic book adaptaion, simply because there isn't anyone who really looks like Wolverine or Superman, or that the costumes on the page simply don't work in the real world. Ghost Rider, being a CG character, however, is presented in all his hellacious glory. He's got gauntlets, hell chains, hell shotguns, a flaming head, spikes, a badass chopper; you want it, he's got it. Watching one of the coolest looking comic book characters looking that cool in real motion on a screen makes me giddy. I got the same feeling watching the Hulk throw tanks across the desert in his movie. The special effects in this movie are awesome. They aren't revolutionary by any means, but given the budget, they make that shit work.
I guess now would be the appropriate time for the bad in this film, and there is plenty. Aside from the horrible dialouge, the script is awful. It's as if someone gave MSJ a very badass bullet page of events to get him started, but then got a five year ld to plan the inbetween. We get decent elemental villains for Ghost Rider to fight with, but what do they do? They stand there and hiss. Then Ghost Rider whips them with a chain and they die. Woooooooooooo. Then Ghost rider will have a badass police chase throught the city and go up a building to stare down a police chopper and lasso it with his hell chains. Awesome right? Well, then he tells the chopper it's pissing him off and it flies away. Woooooooooooo. Thats about it. It's definitely pretty, but theres not much substance. There's not even really senseless violence, the hallmark of cheesey action movies. The final westenesque showdown in the Mexican ghost town is pretty cool, but inevitably dry as well.
Then there's Ghost Rider as a character. As earlier stated he's primarily an asthetic character, but he could definitely be more than that. MSJ apparently didn't realize that, however, and decided to make Ghost Rider a weird zombie thing. When he shys away from Eva Mendes and groans "monster!" it's kind of a kick in the nuts. Luckily, thought, the rider doesn't talk very often. His voice sounds funny as well, but I have no idea what a flaming skeleton would sound like, so I guess I can't really complain.
The reaction towards this movie will depend largely on how you feel about this character. I think most people don't really care that much about Ghost Rider and will say it's shit because it is and they don't care. Others will see it and say it's shit, but also say it was a hell of a fun time watching Ghost Rider ride around and whip stuff. I know there were at least five old biker dudes in the theater with us who were visably excited to see a Ghost Rider movie. To me, these are the real fans, the dudes that grew up with the character and are just happy to see him onscreen. Ghost Rider doesn't have an absurd loyalist fanbase that Dare Devil has and rightly deserves, but I think that is what will inevitably help the movie. It may be a big pile of crap, but when Ghost Rider and Caretaker flame up and take off through the desert to a revamped "Ghost Riders in the Sky," I knew why I was there in the first place. Pure, stupid fun; just like it's supposed to be.

3 out of 5

Terminator vs. Robocop

Yes, someone (finally) made a movie of the idea. But here's the catch - it's a mashup of clips from the Terminator and Robocop trilogies. Amazingly, it works pretty well. See if you can spot the handful of Die Hard clips thrown in at random.

Episode 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86ltDTU1R8A

Episode 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_sSsJBFvR0

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Dark Knight Cast Looking Even Better

So word has it Aaron Eckhart has entered final negotiations to play Harvey Dent in The Dark Knight. What do you guys think of that? I'm pretty satisfied. He's an excellent actor and seems well-made for the part. Rumors are also abound that Maggie Gylenhaal might play the female lead...I'm okay with that, I suppose. I can't think of any real objections.

That's all I've got to say. We need to post more on here, I think. Has it just been a slow winter for internet stupidity?

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Fifteen geek movies to see before you die

This is actually pretty spot-on, I'd say. We're all pretty opionated on this stuff. Let the nerd debate commence.



read more | digg story

Scientists find 5,000-year-old fossil of couple hugging

Happy Early Valentine's!



read more | digg story

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Another Reason that Fall Out Boy is Not Ok

"Our job is to put out records and tour and make music. What are we gonna do? Sit at the plant and watch everybody? Some guy working minimum wage, why would he care how it affects us? It's a multi-pronged thing.

This could be the worst leak in the history in music, if you think that every year computers, iPod, internet music grows exponentially and we're probably one of the biggest bands in rock music on the internet."

So says Pete Wentz, lead singer of Fall Out Boy and sod extraordinaire, regarding the recent leaking of the band's new album. Fine, fine. So your album leaked. I understand being upset. But to go on a masturbatory, ego-maniacal tantrum, degrading the people who actually work and live off minimum wage (which heretofore Wentz regarded as pure legend, before the dirty curs backstabbed him), is a bit much. I bet this guy pirated music back when Napster was free, and I bet he didn't give a shit. But then he had to climb his high throne of pop-punkdom and pull this garbage. Get over yourself, seriously. If you were mature about the situation, you first wouldn't whine to the internet who is currently enjoying your new album (let me make it clear that I am one of the people who is waiting to buy the album before pissing on it; I don't want to ruin my computer otherwise.). Second, you wouldn't point fingers, and you wouldn't aggrandize your worthless, plastic (s)hitfactory of a band in the process. It might make you feel better, but it's turned previously benign nonlisteners such as myself into sarcastic haters, it's probably alienated some fans, and did I mention it made you look like a total rotter? I understand now the title of your b-sides collection, My Tongue is the B-Side to My Heart. Such must be easily possible when your head is located that far up your ass.

Rolling Stone wrote an amusing article on this topic as well, about the 5 Stages of Post-Album Leak Grief. Check it out:

http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdaily/index.php/2007/01/26/pete-wentz-confronts-the-five-stages-of-post-album-leak-grief/

Until next time, friends.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Tea Partay

So this is the real reason I moved to New England. These are my people.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=PTU2He2BIc0

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Re: the iPhone

Turns out the iPhone is immensely more useful than currently advertised.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xXNoB3t8vM

UNRELATED: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc

Monday, January 22, 2007



Thought Dexter would like this, for more Ghostbusters-... bullshit.

From the webcomic 'XKCD.' Good stuff.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Crank

Have you ever thought about doing cocaine? Don't watch Requiem for a Dream or the Basketball Diaries to sway yourself out of it. No, instead rent the movie Crank, then use that as a base (heheh) from which to make your opinion. Friends, I have just witnessed cocaine in cinematic form.

You may know the premise: hitman is injected with a drug and must fight, fuck, and ingest numerous drugs in order to keep his adrenaline running and thus stay alive. Sounds ludicrous. And indeed it is. But perhaps even more ludicrous is just how much further over the top the filmmakers push this. My expectations were for this movie to be a dumb, albeit quirky action movie. Well, there is no doubt about it, this movie is dumb. And it is full of buckets of glorious, nay even unnecessary ultra - violence. But making the deal that much sweeter and really defining the movie is just the string of absurdities that construct the plot. I mean, it pretty much opens with Jason Statham smashing his plasma television, and five minutes later he's driven through a shopping mall, there has already been a gratuitous boob shot (of which there are tons in this movie - including a few of Amy Smart's), and you're still not entirely sure what's going on. You're completely addicted by that point. Even if you hated the movie and wanted to stop it, you couldn't without professional help. And that's not even the start of it. The film moves at a breathless pace, hardly ever giving you time to rest, layering increasingly ridiculous scenes one on top of another. The direction is inventive, hallucinogenic, and nearly seizure-inducing. By the conclusion, you feel strung out, your teeth itch, and your nose may even be bleeding. Somehow you become Jason Statham. Let me put it this way: Remember that scene in Ong Bak where he knees that guy on the motorcycle in the head and his helmet visor shatters, then the motorcycle crashes into oil barrels and explodes? Remember that part in Boondock Saints where the cat gets shot? Or how about that part when Amanda Peet struts around topless in The Whole Nine Yards? Remember how you felt watching those scenes? Now, just imagine feeling that way for an entire movie. Thus is the essence of Crank. Check it out, but don't watch it with your girlfriend or any minority - the mysogyny and racial stereotypes are pretty thick, yet present in such an obtuse manner that it may be laughable for everyone.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Now If They'd Only Hunt Dagon...

This should be especially delectible for Mr. Marx.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=xXX_HrgX0LQ

The Ghostbusters have to track down the Nekronomikon and fight Cathulhu at Coney Island! WOOOOOOOO!

A few news items + opinions on podcasting

So, Barack Obama today updated his webpage with the announcement that he has formed a Presidential Exploratory Committee- this means he's going to be listening to his supporters and people he meets on tour to decide what his platform would be should he decide to run for President. So, this doesn't mean that he is running- yet- but it does mean that it's very possible. Very. The fact that he is going through this motion at all tells me he isn't stooping to big business or some puppetmaster. Of course, everything remains to be seen- but the man used to be an lawyer of, and then proceeded to teach, Constitutional Law- and I'm pretty sure that this is what everyone hated about Bush. He flogged the fuck out of the Constitution these past six years, and our only alternatives so far have been politicians who play weak opposite games with Bush. I'd vote for him over McCain, easily. God, just think- a woman and a black man may be running for President of the United States soon! This will be a test of how forward thinking we are- though the fact that Bush was reelected is a bit discouraging. I've been subscribing to his podcast, and while I don't agree with everything he has said so far on it, and while the fact that he voted YES for the Patriot Act is scary, I really like what he has had to say. Before this I sort of viewed him as a popstar of politics, but I've begun to take him seriously. Anyway, here is the link to his site:

www.barackobama.com

Speaking of podcasts, I love them. Fuck satellite radio- I get my news from Democracy Now! and the Diggnation podcast, and everything that satellite radio should have, podcasts provide. Hell, most of G4 is posted free for the public from their site. Now, podcasting isn't just for iTunes- there are other great clients for this stuff. My favorite other service for podcast subscriptions so far has been 'Democracy TV'- alot of YouTube is put out on there, at better quality in non-Flash format. Anyway, I've compiled a short list of iTunes store and non-iTunes store available podcasts for you to check out whenever:

-Channel Frederator-
You may remember seeing Frederator logos at the end of alot of Nickelodeon cartoons- this podcast is a full screen video podcast that showcases cartoons from art schools and up-and-coming talent in the animation industry. Pretty awesome, and free, and nice to stick on your portable player.

-This American Life-
Ira Glass' Radio broadcast- one of the last good things about radio- is frequently updated in podcast form. It features short fiction and first-person opinion pieces that deal, well, with America today. It's fucking great. It's only in Chicago. You should listen to it from there.

-Escape Pod and Pseudopod-
Both of these podcasts are put out by the same editors, and both are fucking awesome. Escape Pod is a science fiction podcast of various programs that range from audio readings of short SF stories to reader reviews of the latest science fiction films. It is well into it's 80th episode, and for the most part the core readings- usually an hour long- are updated every week. Pseudopod is younger, as it has been out for only a few months, but so far it's pretty good. The host of the show isn't as good, I think, as Escape Pods- the amazing Stephen Eley- but I have high hopes. It's like listening to Old Time Radio, but a bit less pulp and no static quality.

-Old Time Radio Suspense-
This is awesome- I've discovered alot of strange stuff on here, and alot of awesome stuff I do know. There have been lots of The Shadow episodes, Batman radio dramas, but also really pulpy police dramas and sci fi from the era that boggles the mind.

-Zencast-
A bunch of people talking about Buddhist Dharma. Nice for those of us that try to follow the Buddha.

-MacBreak (video)-
This basically updates you on all the indie developing and nifty features of Mac OS X, as well as news for it. If you own a Mac, and want more to do with it or want to know how to use it better, it's nice to browse through and download some stuff from time to time.

-1UP.com Podcasts-
I've read EGM for a long time because they are the least unbiased, most intelligent video game mag out there. I've been watching 'The 1UP Show' and '1UP.com- Retronauts' for a month or so now, and I really like it. The 1UP show is a full-screen video podcast that acts as an opinion forum shot like a reality show, among various editors and freelance writers for the magazines that Ziff Davis Media puts out. Retronauts is just about old games- but also pretty good insight into the industry, as it has so far proven to be more of an analysis of what is "changing" in the industry. With all the weird crap in consoles now, it's informative.

-The Essays of Ralph Waldo Emerson-
If you have trouble getting through Emerson, listen to someone read the essays. There are alot up now, and for some reason listening to someone speak speeches just works better.

-Various Open-Source Audobooks-
With the advent of open-source knowledge such as Project Gutenburg and Wikipedia comes fiction in the public domain. I'm about five chapters into Mary Shelley's Frankenstein on here, and there are plenty more.

Thats enough blogging. Carlo, signing out.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Your Robot Chicken Zen

http://moviesandmusic.wordpress.com/2007/01/12/what-really-happened-after-the-death-star-blew-up/

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

I severely recommend that everyone check out this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6i2WRreARo . It just gets me even more pumped about Ghostrider. Honestly.

As long as Apple doesn't want me to put their products inside of me

You knew it would have to happen sometime. The iPhone is pretty much the culmination of everything. And it's too damn expensive. Sigh.

http://www.apple.com/iphone/
So after my Zelda post, I am wondering: how do we do jump-cuts?

Monday, January 8, 2007

Dayum

This isn't really intellectual or geeky by any means, and I may be chastised later for it, but god damn Florida beat the shit out of Ohio State. Christ that was silly. I generally have to hate those gators, but for the first and only time in my life I gladly clap my hands together in a rather crude interpertation of an alligator biting something. Suck it Sam Leatherberry and your god damned Buckeyes. I hope you cry yourself to sleep tonight.

So speaking of the apocalypse...

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/01/08/austin.birds.ap/index.html

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/01/08/nyc.odor/index.html


And even the Canadians are worried: http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Science/2007/01/08/3236029-sun.html

Who wants to move to the countryside and smoke pot with Michael Caine? Anyone?

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

Until Twilight Princess, I wasn't really sure why The Legend of Zelda is Nintendo's favored franchise, on a worldwide scale.

I know the story behind the original NES game- a ground-up, revolutionary quest based on game director Shigeru Miyamoto's own boyhood of wandering through rural Japan, and collecting animals and discovering grottoes. What he imagined became reality in this game of his. It had the first save feature, hours of gameplay, and when you were done there was a whole new map to explore.

But games changed, became less accessible, and more specialized. Ocarina was good for this reason. In a time when games were really, really complicated and graphics were so horrendous that imagination was asked for to interpret most of the polygons displayed, Ocarina was good in the same way Half-Life 1 was- it progressed story through exploration because unless you wanted your player to sit through CG movies for cutscenes, you couldn't make affordable systems that didn't look like shit. Noone was ever attached to the worlds of Final Fantasy. I miss, however, running about in Hyrule and Black Mesa. Wind Waker, the next "new" Zelda console title that wasn't based off of the Ocarina engine, replaced wandering with boat action. I was fine with this- Nintendo is treating the Wind Waker storyline almost like a spin-off of Zelda- a DS sequel is due out next year, where sailing involves the stylus. As Star Fox Armada used the stylus almost as good as, say, Elite Beat Agents, I trust it'll turn out okay. Nonetheless, Shadow of the Colossus or Okami captured what Wind Waker didn't- the vastness of a world that is at your fingertips. And consumers loved Ocarina. I was sort of afraid that Twilight Princess would be an expanded Ocarina of Time. By today's standards, that is some stale shit.

The first thing I noticed was the graphics. Let's get this part out of the way, because it is the worst part about this game. Zelda: TP is a Gamecube game, and so it relies on some terrific lighting and filter effects, the crutch of last generation's games. The textures in some parts of the game are beautiful, but other times look, literally, like shit. SHIT. I found myself climbing a wall at one point that looked somewhat like diarrhea. I played this game on the Wii, and it did sharpen the graphics quite a bit- the good Doctor Lecithin will recall what the Wii can do for GC games- as compared to the original version. This may have somewhat aggrevated the problem. Recall the blurry PS2 Metal Gears- using filter effects and low-res to hide the already aging graphic chips in that system, and think of MGS2 or 3 in higher definition. Ouch.

There are two major things- non-Zelda geek things- that make this game great, and which will set an example for every game from now on, as Ocarina tried to do.

The first is something that has been very lacking the past few years in gaming, and what makes the DS so good. This is where Ubi Soft shooters fail. This is where Oblivion fails. This is even where popular Massively Multiplayer games fail. Zelda is the most well-designed game I have EVER played. EVER. Better than Ocarina, better than Half-Life 2, better than Metal Gear 3. It is not without its glitches (I can see the background renders of Death Mountain through mist on my copy) or even without strange physics hiccups. It is simply the fact that this game does not make you feel like you are in a random, "real" world, or that you are stuck in a series of "rooms" passed off as explorable areas. It makes you feel like you are in a world designed for you. You always have everything you need. I never found myself backtracking- even tedious collecting quests were made fun because they involved mini-games or events that were never the same over and over- the game is never boring, because it is always changing. Whether you are experimenting with one of the many "vehicles" in the game (cleverly disguised as items, your horse, or other things which are never toted as a major game feature but simply part of the world), snowboarding, or playing an an on-rails shooting segment, you are always surprised by the way it is designed. This game is tough- if you play it without a guide, I imagine the game to be 70 to 80 hours long- but that makes this Zelda better. Perhaps the greatest microimprovement within the game engine is the fact that I only had to solve two block puzzles. Two. And they were fun because I didn't have to do it over and over again. In fact, perhaps Zelda took a hint from other design ideas like Half-Life's and Resident Evil 4- puzzles are having to do with your environment. For the first time, even, there are enemies which require you to think and strategize instead of slashing at them- without advanced AI promises that never really work on contemporary systems. You always have what you need in Zelda. Always.

The second has to do with the Wii Remote. From what I can gather about other people playing the Wii- take Dr. Lecithin's Dad, for example- the controller not only expands what you can do with game control, but it simplifies it and makes it ten times more accessible. My girlfriend is a PC gamer, and the Wiimote was pick-up-and-play simple on a ten-to-fifteen minute learning curve. While you may think that this detracts from the pixel-perfect game design of the past, then I ask you- play Zelda and then try to snipe something on another game. Shooting just doesn't feel right on any other controller now, except for maybe a mouse. This is because the PC keyboard and mouse combination is probably the parent of the Wiimote and Nunchuck- just changed a little bit, the Nunchuk substituting for the good old "WSAD" controls, and the Wiimote a fancy-ass mouse, with motion sensitivity on the side for more expandion. Perhaps that is why the Wiimote is so familiar on a game like Zelda- it's like you don't feel bogged down by controller framing anymore, or even keyboards for that matter. Whether or not developers will be able to think inside of three dimensional motion with a controller for shooters is another thng entirely. The Wii shows no signs of flopping, however- and with a price drop on the horizon in Summer (rumored) the system will soon be almost as cheap as the previous generation. Let's hope that by then Nintendo can push five-year old hardware out of the door faster.

There is a reason why Nintendo is still around. Every now and then, you buy one of their games, and it doesn't rip you off. Zelda never does.

Carlo out.

Sunday, January 7, 2007

Children of Men

There are movies you see, and then there are movies you experience. Children of Men falls into the latter category. Rarely have I been so gripped by a film. Intense is the best way I can describe this movie, which lives up entirely to the trailer that sent chills up the spines of more than a few people I know. The premise of the plot could be hammed up or made entirely unbelievable at the hands of any lesser director, but Alfonso Cuaron manages to make it not only believable, but scarily so. The fact that mankind cannot reproduce is but a part of the apocalyptic world the film captures; the elements that complete the frightening image are realistic extensions of things that already exist today: totalitarian governments, xenophobia, a society dependent on prescription solutions, and pollution. Seeing this movie, most people would probably agree with me that it makes its dark interpretation of the future not only plausible, but probable even. That the camera does not budge for many gruesome scenes, only wobbling a bit as if it were in the unsteady arms of a documentarian, adds to the grit and power of the experience. Imagine then when the viewer is thrust in the midst of frankly terrifying action scenes, following a character in an unbroken shot for several minutes. Several of these occur throughout the film, and they are the crowning moments of Children of Men. The film's climax amidst a war zone leaves one breathless, to say the least. As the movie ended, many people in the theatre remained sitting, commenting that they needed a moment just to take-in what they had seen, to recover from it. I was certainly among these people. It's the kind of film that makes you want a cigarette when it's all over, even if you don't smoke. Highly recommended, just know what you are getting into.

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

So, in lieu of next to no exciting geek news, I did find this for myself and Mr. Dexter Green here:

http://www.lifehacker.com/software/language/learn-a-language-with-podcasts-225703.php

I have been a fan of the podcast for a long time, since before I got the MacBook at the beginning of last summer. It's a form of media that has been around just long enough and with just enough effort by communities surrounding it to be a very useful resource, not far removed from YouTube but with better ways to sift through the shit you don't care about.

Anyway, I'm particularly excited at finding a free audio French primer for my French class, whcih starts next week...

Sonny and Groovy

Nicccce..... Well apparently David Berkowitz, better known as the Son of Sam killer, is now a reformed Christian! Woooo! Strike another up on that list of desirable elements roaming the faith. If there ever was a selling factor for any religion it would be the dude that thought the satan dog told him to shoot a bunch of people. For information on various topics such as "the light" and "redemption" check out his official site! www.forgivenforlife.com Some how I don't think that name is very popular among New Yorkers.
FIRST!!!11 Here are da goods!